Bald and Blessed

So as most of you have seen by now, I shaved my head on Wednesday. I wasn’t sure that I was ready for it…but I was.

In the days leading up to my appointment to become a cue ball, I had been wondering if I had jumped the gun on this whole process. My hair had not begun to fall out at this point, so I was wondering if I was making a mistake. People kept saying, “Hey, maybe you’ll defy the odds and your hair won’t actually fall out.” Well, the day before my appointment, I was sitting in the waiting room at my doctor’s office and I ran my fingers through my hair…and out came enough strands of hair to make a little wig for Harper’s Barbie. It wasn’t huge clumps like I had heard about…but it was definitely more than normal. (I suppose I should mention that I shed like an animal. My hair falls out all.the.time. So, I was caught by surprise when I had a hand full of hair. I pushed it to the back of my mind for the time being.

Then, as I was getting ready for bed that night, I brushed my hair…and pulled out a handful. And another. And another. It was time. I don’t believe it was just a coincidence. That day marked exactly two weeks from the day I got the drug that was supposed to make it all fall out. The doctor had mentioned that it would take two weeks…and here we are.

At noon on Wednesday, I went to lunch with 15 of my closest friends/family/neighbors/co-workers/angels in disguise. We met at the Chocolate Angel (Shout out to the Strawberry Pretzel salad–if you’ve never had it, go try it. You’ll thank me later.) for lunch. It was so relaxing and enjoyable. In the back of my mind, I kept thinking about what was coming at 2:30. I did, however, enjoy the heck out of some Strawberry Pretzel salad…and some coconut macaroons…and some quiche. De.light.ful.

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Amy & Tara

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Michelle & Tiara

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Sabrina, Steph, & Julie

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Me and Barbie (Sabrina)

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Sweet Lindsey

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Mama, Michelle, and Lexi

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My heart is overflowing!

Once we finished lunch, we headed to Survivor Gals for the main event. When we walked in, I wasn’t so sure how to feel about what was about to go down. We were greeted by the hairstylist and told that it would be a few minutes before she was ready for us.

Originally, they had said that we would be in a small room that would only fit about 4 people…I assumed we would still do that and that someone would just record it and then we’d take pictures after it was over. But the sweet lady helping us asked if I would be comfortable doing it out in the main lobby area. Sure, why the heck not?! Then, everyone could be there crying together…sign me up for that.

So that’s what we did. We took some “before” pictures, had some champagne, and tried on a few hats while we waited. It was fun. I was genuinely happy. The amount of love that filled that room was something that I will never forget. It turned a hard situation into one of the most unforgettable moments of my life. We had fun, laughed continuously, and tried on many ridiculous wigs. I will never forget the amount of love I felt that day.

The details that went into the day to make it special were incredible. Effort was made to make sure I felt special…strong…and brave. I can’t quite put into words how much I appreciate everyone who was there, who called, text, or posted on Facebook. I’ve heard people talk about defining moments in their lives…and the moment I was sitting in the chair after she finished shaving my head and I opened my eyes and saw my reflection in the mirror…that was a monumental moment for me. At that moment, I felt like I was on top of the world. Like I could conquer the world and do anything…all because of the love that filled that room at that moment. Love is a powerful thing.

After she finished shaving, we went back and washed my “hair” and she gave me a little scalp massage. It was lovely. Then, I tried on different wigs and took some pictures. I didn’t have an appointment to try on wigs…and we ended up getting a little talkin’ to by a lady who I’m assuming was one of the owners. We had such a wonderful experience at that place…until then. The lady was pretty ugly about the fact that we didn’t have an appointment. She’s right. We didn’t have an appointment. I didn’t think I would be able to get myself to buck up and try on wigs after I shaved my head…so I didn’t ask for an appointment. I ended up feeling good and having fun, so we gave it a shot. Oops. Sorry lady. Apparently you were having a worse day than me. You should be happier…you have a head full of pretty hair. Maybe you should have taken in some of the love that filled the room…just sayin’.

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Once she rained on our parade, we tried on a few hats (we didn’t need an appointment for that, don’t worry), and then gathered our stuff and headed out. I left without a hat on and was proud of it. It was the weirdest feeling. Nice and breezy.

When we got home, my mom and Lexi headed to pick up the kiddos. As much as I wanted to pick them up, I was nervous about how Harper would take in everything when she first saw me…I figured it would be easier for her at home. Although I hadn’t been wearing a hat, I put one on before she got home to hopefully take away some of the shock value.

She ran up to the door, semi-ignored me and ran to her daddy. Typical. 🙂 But then, she came and asked me to see my head. I took off the hat she carefully rubbed my head. All. Night. Long. I’m not going to lie, I loved it. When I was on the floor playing with Hud, she would come up behind me and rub my head, hug my neck, and run away. Needless to say, she took it so much better than I ever imagined. Thank you for the prayers…once again, they helped.

So since Wednesday, I’ve rocked the bald head around the house, but not yet in public. I’ve been wearing two different knit hats from my precious friend Jennifer Foster (Love you, J-Fo!). Well, they aren’t exactly hats…there’s no top. It’s more like an ear warmer…but I love them! I’ve worn one every day since then. Now that it’s getting colder freaking cold, I may break out the hats. Eventually, I’ll rock the bald head in public. For now, I’m still a little self-conscious.

You know, it’s funny. In the past, I’ve caught myself looking at women who have shaved heads. It’s amazing how much just glancing at someone can say…without any words at all. I’ve noticed people at the store and random places doing a double take and looking at me. It’s like I can see the questions going through their heads…What wrong with her? Did she do that on purpose? Why? Is she sick? What about her kids? Does she have a family?

When I see people looking, I so badly want to say, “I’ve got this. No need to worry. Just pray it grows back pretty when the time comes.” 🙂

I’m pretty sure I say this every time…but, again, I am so blessed. I am brought to tears multiple times a day (for most of you, this is not shocking news) when I think about how we have been blessed through this whole thing. I could never have imagined the amount of support we would have. I will never, ever be able to thank everyone, but I’m sure as heck going to try.

For now, here’s to bald heads and full hearts.

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One thought on “Bald and Blessed

  1. I really enjoyed ready this blog and admire you for sharing this journey. I love your attitude, honesty and truthfulness. I feel you getting stronger and stronger! You look beautiful bald!! You looked great in several of the wigs also. I LOVED the picture of you with Mimi with the wig that matched her hair 😂😘

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